


Ribs in the Fridge.

by Silken_Stars



Category: DC Extended Universe, DCU (Comics), Joker (2019)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, PBA, Pathological laughter and crying, Pseudobulbar affect, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22103071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silken_Stars/pseuds/Silken_Stars
Summary: "IT WAS dark in his confinement, Arthur's knees pulled to his chest -- lanky arms wrapped tightly around him, if no one could hold him, he'd hold onto himself. He couldn't hear anything anymore...he closed out the world, just as the world had done to him..."
Kudos: 19





	Ribs in the Fridge.

It's the way he felt why not become one with what he was. He didn't feel anything.. there was something, a dull ache in his ribs -- he couldn't count how many episodes he had that night. They were all nothing but a blur, laughter, a funny thing. A cruel joke given to him by some higher power. Arthur could hear the phone over the hum of the fans inside the icebox..was it ringing before he climbed in? It rung over and over.. echoing...the mans voice on the answering machine -- sounded like his own. He knew what it truly was but he couldn't hear it any differently now.

IT WAS dark in his confinement, Arthur's knees pulled to his chest -- lanky arms wrapped tightly around him, if no one could hold him, he'd hold onto himself. He couldn't hear anything anymore...he closed out the world, just as the world had done to him. Arthur felt a familiar weight start in his chest -- waves of sorrow that rose up from his gut and rush past his teeth. He choked out a sob, dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears. The cold chilled the moisture, carving down his cheeks, his sobs were muffled.. he hated how he sounded. Pitiful, weak. And with this distress, came laughter.. it was a tickle - a cough-- insects scattering in a frenzy crawling up his throat.

His mouth opened -- the sound came out like vomit, his expression twisted into a grimace. The laughter knocked the wind from him -- that dull pain in his ribs was now extricating...it spread across his chest..hot and heavy. Arthur was gasping for air, another, and another another. He couldn't breath, STOP. STOP his dulled chewed nails dug, marring at his skin, clawing for release from the hold the laughter had over his entire being. Arthur laughed and laughed and laughed. Surrounded by the tight walls, the sound bounced and echoed so that he could hear himself, his laugh was like glass shattering... It rippled through the air, it disturbed people -- it was uncontrollable..almost as if the laugh itself had a mind of it's own. Arthur shoulders shook the raucous laughter slowed, it turned into a snicker, a giggle.

Through his haze -- he pushed the door open, tumbling out and laying on the ground, the wood felt solid -- like he was back on even ground. Arthur's palms laid flat, muss of locks tangled and stuck to his face..he was gathering his breath. Slow and shaking..The awful hollowness engulfed, he allowed these waves of wretchedness.. to thrash him as he laid in a heap on his kitchen floor. He didn't move..his frame pushed against the ground he could feel every bone press into the hard flooring, only a small shell of fragile skin separating the contact. No one was there to help him from the ground, to dust him off, to tell him it would all be okay. That's all he ever wanted to hear. Arthur feared people -- but still yearned for a connection, a friend..someone to be present.. to make him feel like he existed.

He was never wanted.. he was casted aside, thrown away. ADOPTED. THEY should have just aborted. Arthur didn't want to believe the truth, Thomas Wayne was a liar... he was just ashamed, ashamed of HIM. -- and he wouldn't allow himself to believe all of what he said until he found out the truth himself. PENNY was his mother. THE betrayal of his "dad" the abandonment, the truth. IT would break him -- the cord holding him together would finally snap..he'd unravel, the monster begging would be released from him. These thoughts...they made his head spin. EVERYTHING made sense, all of it, even if he didn't want it to. All he had done was care for his mother... and never did she ask him about his day or how he was doing, even to her -- he wasn't THERE.

"SHE is CRAZY."

Arthur muttered to himself, lips spoke.. his voice barley audible. Scared someone might hear his most outward thoughts, but he was alone, no one else was there. Arthur's weak body slowly, moved.. shaking limbs supported his weight as he picked himself up off the ground. The apartment was a mess -- the flower painted walls around him were closing in...his vision tunneled as he made his to the now empty room, feet carelessly kicking what was once in the fridge along the floor. Arthur 's strides were slow.. dizzy thoughts scrambled.

"..It's just so hard..."

he spoke to himself... soft. Arthur entered the dark room, shadows danced for him, welcoming him to the bed. He collapsed onto to it, sinking deeply into it's comforting embrace. It had been a long time since he had laid in a bed, the couch is where he slept, where he belonged. Curling up -- his eyes closed... lids felt heavy and tired. It had been days since he last rested. Arthur's last thoughts shouted out before exhaustion took him, a taunting buzz ringing loudly.

" I wish I never woke up again..."

**Author's Note:**

> A simple drabble I wrote. ~


End file.
